Space and time.

So here’s a genuine question. Why does time slow down when you exercise?

I don’t just mean, why does an hour in the gym seem like a lifetime? I mean, why does your – or at least my – perception of time literally, well, slow down?

Know how I know?

Because I know that iPods don’t run down amusingly like old Walkmans.

It’s something I’ve actually noticed many times after doing a circuits class; you get to the car, purple and dizzy, trying not to clutch your chest or fall over before you close the door, the track on the CD picks up where it left off and… it’s playing slower. Except, it can’t be – it’s a CD. Isn’t it?

Lastnight, this phenomewhatsit struck home as I limped home from a run. Mad, flab-chap that I am. The tunes on the iPod were beginning to run so much slower in tempo I could almost drive a bus between the BPM. ..BUT IT’S A CHUFFING iPOD!

How much gravity am I displacing when I try to move my bulk? Am I bending Mr Einstein’s continuum that much with a bit of tummy chub?

—

Of course, if I’m going to get all exercised about the space/time wotnot today, it’s for a good reason. For today is… T-day.

Trek day.

..STARTREKDAY!

At last. And I should be more excited than my capitals and exclaimation mark imply I am. And I am, obviously; I’m expecting the world from this flick. But when I shook the To Do list earlier in the week, lots of annoying little bits fell out all over the desk. And I’m trying to clear them up before going boldly out.

..Oh dear. You see, that’s how it starts. One little Trek slip; one little reference to some part of this brand’s gigantic cannon of cultural references. And before you know it – you’re falling back on some of the most tiresome jokes in newspaper review history. Shan’t be doing that.

Not until tomorrow, when I write my review, anyway – when we shall see if the franchise re-boot really is set to stun.

I.. I need a sit down.