You don’t ‘che.

Just touching base here to basically fill you in on a classic. Made my blood run cold, to be honest, but let’s be fair, I can run but I can’t hide. Mea culpa.

Turns out I talk in almost total cliche. Who knew?

Little survey on the BBC news site has flagged up, beyond any shadow of doubt, that I only know how to talk in the verbal equivalent of a finger pistol. 110%.

Now, you might say: ‘No sh*t, Sherlock’. But – not being funny – the full realisation only dawned on me, actually, as I was ticking off the whole nine yards.

Just back from a meeting in a motorway service station – as is only natural in the stimulating and original life of a freelance creative – I can count a worrying number of them from this little online article that I used IN the meeting.

“Songsheet, pipeline, end-of-play roll-out scenario solutions deliverables.” Literally. ..Although the day I DO use the word ‘scenario’, or – heaven forfend – ‘solutions’ >gaaakkk< I should have something lethal put in my drink, please.

At the end of the day, we’re all only human, I guess.

..Although. Hmm. You’d think the least a bloody allegedly-professional writer could do is a rather cleverer job of writing in cliche – when actually trying to write in cliche.

It’s no good just talking the talk… (ohshutup.)