Wirelarse.

Wirelarse.

So anyway. You watch the news and you feel several serious shades of something unpleasant. Angry and pissed off and all that useless stuff. So you write an angry, pissed-off blog, hit Post, and flick on the radio for some light relief.

Next thing you know, in an uncomfortably obvious emotional volte-face, you find yourself being recorded on a hip, electro-beat, youth radio programme, sounding far too pleased to be on it.

Tragic.

Naturally, most people don’t expect the phone to ring while doing the washing up of a Friday evening to have Radio 1 ask if they’d like to pop on air with their amusing anecdote-come-obviously-hip-music-choice. But I quietly patted my hands dry, cleared my throat imperceptibly and coolly took the call. Obviously.

We think Annie Mac is a poppet for being nice about some old bloke ruining the feel of her show.

Momo on the Mash Up

How the other half live. Apparently.

How the other half live. Apparently.

Picture the scene.

Nice suburban home, nice couple, nice kids playing in the lounge as the family are interviewed by a radio reporter. Birds in the sunny garden keep up a calming chirrup of atmosphere among the citrus trees, through the open patio doors. Fresh juice clinks on a tray as the nice young mum sets it down.

It’s a home you want.

“Tell me what it’s like to live here” says the radio reporter.

“Well,” begins the young lass beside her husband, with a tip of her head and a slightly forced smile, “after eight years, you begin to plan around it.” She then laughs a little what-can-you-do laugh. A serious gesture.

“We tell the kids that if they ever go anywhere, they must always run if they’re outside. No hanging around. And if they’re at home, they must stay downstairs and not stray too far down the garden from the house. We only get about ten seconds warning.”

She shrugs. Her husband picks up: ” Of course we have some sympathy – they’re being brutalised by their leaders. But, y’know, they voted for them. And these same leaders want to see our children dead.”

His wife interjects: “Yes, we have sympathy – of course we do. But they had warning of our strikes. We texted them. Our planes ticker-tape dropped thousands of leaflets telling them we only wanted to target military installations and that they should leave those areas. They had warning.”

“Then we hear of the family of five children sleeping across the road from a munitions stash… and so, what can you do? When this is over, it will be quiet again for us. At last. My kids will be able to play in their own garden safely.”

It’s hard to imagine anyone sitting by quietly if rockets dropped on Southbourne for eight years. I look out of the studio window at all the homes of decent, moderate people I see around my streets every day, and understand this decent family’s honest defiance. It sounds like something anyone around me here would say. What I would say, in their shoes.

This young couple from somewhere like Sderot in the western Negev, heard interviewed this morning on the Today programme, sounded more together and resolved and, well, ‘normal’ than many of the region’s similar residents. They’re taking sleeping pills and arguing and seeing their house prices plummet and their marriages fragment. They’re worn down by the endless threat of rocket attacks by Hamas, from the Gaza strip just a short drive away. These are people like you and me who want to get on with their lives and not be traumatised.

Who can blame them for wanting something done?

The other report, run back-to-back with this one this morning, was from Gaza. On the dawning of Day Eight of the Israeli attacks on the Palestinian enclave, a local radio producer interviewed people there.

It was hard to hear some of the recorded responses over the thumps, roars and sometimes blasts of the fighter planes and missile strikes. Plus, of course, some of them responded in Arabic and so needed the voices of translators fed over the top of their own.

“I am standing here talking to you now,” said one doctor, in English, “but I honestly don’t know what could happen in the next five minutes.”

“We have some supplies, but no electricity. Water has been cut off too. But we have God. He will protect us, and he’s all we have. We will be okay.”

Another aid worker, English sounding, said: “We brought in a family this morning that had been hit by a missile attack. Little (name) who is four died in front of us from her injuries. Her sister, (name) was brought in dead on arrival. Their brother, (name) we thought would be okay. He was brought in breathing. He died this morning, however.”

“Some are calling in the streets for revenge on Isreal. Some are calling for God’s mercy.” said the Gaza-based reporter calmly, in English. “Hospitals are over-run and infrastructure demolished. The death toll is reported as in the many hundreds now. Humanitarian efforts are being badly hampered by the situation.” In the background was the sound of more thumping explosions, and of people wailing and shouting.

Ed Stourton was reporting from a cafe on the border. Those same birds from the family’s back garden seemed to be with him there, calming the morning sunshine as troops sat around near him, playing cards and laughing.

“It’s all very pleasant here” he said. “There’s even a promising looking garden centre just over the road.” He then added: “Gaza is half a mile away. I can see the planes and I can hear the constant crump of missile strikes.”

And I could exactly picture it.

Israel can seem so pleasant, so relaxed. So darned congenial. Everyone, on each side of the cultural divide, can make you so glad you visited. And you can find youself sitting there, in a citrus grove, with a cup of mint tea, birds lulling you, mediterranean breeze caressing you, and not feel the reality of the war zone walking distance away.

This is probably true of many war zones – especially domesticated ones like this.

Gaza is, as Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg put it impromtu on the radio this morning, half the size of the Isle of Mann, with one and a half million people squashed into it. How easy are ‘surgical strikes’ on such a theatre of operations? However seriously, humanly, the F16 pilots take their role.

It’s not just any strip of land though. It’s not like someone just declared war on Boscombe. (No jokes, locals. I shop there willingly.) This is a strip of land that’s been cut off from the outside world for the last umpteen months. If not years, practically. It’s had at best intermittent electricity and water and food. It has been a humanitarian crisis, according to the UN, for a long while. It is a people living in enforced poverty. In enforced misery. In an enforced fucking war zone.

The issue here isn’t the politics of Olmert vs the Likud in looming Isreali elections. It isn’t the politics of Bush’s last days of US presidency and his proudly pro-active support for Israel’s government. It isn’t about Fatah’s decades of corrupt incompetence undermining the Palestinian cause, or the PLO’s cultural complacency over the same time. And it isn’t about Hamas’ violent rhetoric against Israel’s right to exist.

The issue is about what we are told. And not told. About how we hear stuff. All of us. How it’s edited.

So, in Israel, the issue is that decent people can live in pretty houses with their children shelling distance from a war zone and have never seen it. That ordinary tax-paying families can hope for military action against neighbours they’ve never properly met. Who’s anhialated streets they’ve never walked down. Who’s stories they’ve never listened to.

I can’t imagine the fear of living under bombardment in the nice little streets around my house. I mean, somebody text me WTF. I can’t imagine what it would do to my thinking, can you?

I can’t help feeling though that, once the present flames are out, a practical tonic for some beleaguered Israeli residents might be to walk around Gaza for a day, and share a glass of tea or two with some of its residents.

Now. I’m off to a nice cafe.

New year re-delusions

New year re-delusions

So, here we are on the second day of a new year – and some things are just scrolling back to the beginning again. Some things don’t know how to do anything else.

I don’t know about you, but the change in the air at the end of the year had given me a faintly hopeful mood against all the odds looking into ’09. About I don’t know what, really. But one situation seems monumentally doomed to cyclical failure. Say it with me: Israel.

Oh sodding shit. Oh effing bloody eff. Even were I to spell out all the bitter Anglo Saxon I could think of, I wouldn’t cover it. And I don’t propose to work myself up into a lathering fit pointlessly.

Fight and strike and hit and hate and blast and fire and smash and choke and punch repeatedly until swollen, broken and split open – use all the simple aggressive verbs you like, Isreal’s political leaders keep swelling the dictionary of fear. But they do nothing to solve their problem. When all the jagged, concrete of frail Gazan infrastructure is collapsed, the fear will still stand, a monument. The ignorance kneeling in front of it.

I hate the sound of empty anger like this. People running from the rockets have shouted louder and with more conviction and not been heard. Why bother.

A press conference today brought together the sort of uncomfortable bed-fellows that only a truly hideous event can – Annie Lennox at one end and George Galloway at the other. Just speaking up about the military strikes in Palestine.
Somewhere in the middle, Alexi Sayle spoke with customary intelligence about Jewish people’s need to speak out against Israel. Observantly, he then said quietly: ‘Israel has the mentality of the rapist, the murderer, the bully. It sees itself as the good guy and blames the victim for making it take their life.’

Tragically spot on.

I’m tired of it. Are you? I’m tired of not being able to keep up with it emotionally. Of having to switch off. Of not being able to do a sodding thing. Of it all being so wrong and so far away.

Tonight, there it is on the BBC news homepage: ‘The UN warns that Palestinians in Gaza face a serious health and food crisis as Israeli air strikes continue for a seventh day.’

Seven days of airstrikes on a strip of land a mile wide? Over four hundred children, women and men dead? Overwhelming ground forces massed on the border to go in? Tanks queueing up on the scrubby grass like Veedub campers at a festival.

When will Israel understand the very simple, very old truth – dehumanise your neighbour and you both become monsters.

Provocation does exactly what it says on the tank.
Don’t state the obvious. Don’t. Hamas, rockets, corruption, cultural blindness, blah. And duh. Tell me who has the more pressing moral responsibility – the bloke with the flick knife or the bloke with the sawn-off and six mates?

The thinking of Israel’s leaders seems lost; as lost as it’s ever been. Just deluded. How many young people are also lost now to the process of talking and listening? Of building peace?

Well, I know there are people in the region who want peace and who recognise the humanity in those around them. Who see themselves in the victims. Israel’s leaders have built a culture of blindness – to humanity and to effective strategy. What they’re doing won’t work. It will do the opposite of working.

As the year dawns, no one can question their resolve. No one can question them at all, it seems.