Crunch.

Autumn. It’s here. Breathe it in.

I’ll be boring and say this again – it’s long been my favorite time of year. Crisp, cold and bright or damp, grey and gloomy, it’s the back-to-school season; the time of fresh starts. New blazers and pencil cases. And every year I seem to welcome it a little bit more.

But then, that may be because it’s been a long while since we had anything other than a damp, vague summer that we were, by the end, keen to wave goodbye to in favour of a season that knows its mind.

“Hi, I’m Autumn. Changeable and chilly is what I do. That I know. You thought I was wan and reflective? Jeepers, get with the programme, you ass. No more. I’ve had it with poetry and bitter/sweet memories. Sheesh. That guy was a loser. What a bum guy he was at a party. Chuh. Turns out, with all the other seasons drifting about like lazy students, questioning who they ‘really are’, now I’M the most definite time of the year. Yeah, that’s right, Summer – I get as much sunshine as you now. And yeah, Winter – I get the chilly freshness without the suicidal anticlimax of January. And hey, Spring – bite me. Daffodils are up NOW, you sad, dufus. Go figure. ..Now, who wants fireworks and baked potatoes and a big fat holiday season to look forward to…?” >cheers.<

Of course, if Summer and Winter ever wake up again, Autumn will get its ass kicked and be made to take off the baseball cap and sunnies. But I’ll still prefer the definiteness of its changeable character.

—

I heard an interview with John Prescott on Today this morning. Gave James Naughtie a knock around. Jim sounded half exasperated, half amused, in that calming way of his.

Makes you think.

Where have all the definite politicians gone? All the Spitting Image characatures? All the party animals who say things like: “Oh, for God’s sake, Jim…” and: “Pull your finger out and stop whining, everyone…”

I miss those guys.

I miss the guys who always looked like they had definite opinions and knew what they stood for, even if that could change in the middle of an interview. Where are all the loudly incredulous politicians with do-able accents? Nick Clegg, apparently LibDem leader, may have employed a Music Hall Funny Walk-type strutting to deliver his rousing ‘We’re heading to Government’ speech here in Bournemouth, but that’s not the same thing as being a real inspiration to Fluck and Law.

This is why, dare I say it, Sarah Pallin across the waters, is an ideal political leader – she has a costume and she has a funny voice. Caroline and I could both ‘do’ her in ten seconds. Genius.

But don’t get me started on American politics. Current obsessions The West Wing, The Daily Show and Channel Four News are all blurring into one. I have no idea what’s real and what isn’t any more. Rather like the global banking community.

I’m confused, but I think it all has something to do with looking for change.